I don't know whether things happen for a reason or not anymore. Maybe we're all looking for excuses to make us feel better. Maybe we're all naive.
There are a lot of difficult things I have to go through for now. So many different problems, you name it - I don't wish to disclose it though. A lot of bad things. And now, I feel like I've just lost the will to keep fighting, to keep going. I had so many higher goals, but I feel like everything is going down the drain. It's like I don't even respect myself anymore. And there are so many people who are waiting for me to fail so they can humiliate me - I always wanted to prove them wrong but I don't know if I can do it anymore. I know this seems like such a "feeling-sorry-for-yourself" kinda thing, but I guess I just needed some sort of moral boost. Or a hard kick in the back to push me up again because there's not many people I can turn to and tell them all this stuff.
How do you push yourself to rise above hard things that life throws at you and keep going? What can I do to motivate myself to achieve my dreams, to love and respect myself and to be happy once again?
I really lost confidence in my life and thinking about resigning from it. I contemplated suicide but I could not let go of my life, and you.
2 comments:
I hope this doesn't hit too late.
While I can't say I understand exactly what you're going through, I can say that I've felt this way. I honestly can't tell you how to get through it because I struggle with this myself. There are days where I just want to stop. I lie in my bed in the morning and I can't bring myself to get up.
I don't know what keeps me going. I really don't. I guess it just takes time for a person to come to terms with what is happening to them. Everytime I've told myself, "I quit," everytime I've wound up staring at the ceiling for hours, everytime I've tried to just give up; something brings me back. The only explanation I can attribute this to is time.
I know these are just words on a screen to you, but take them more than what's at face-value.
All the best to you.
Hey, T!
No worries, this definitely doesn't hit too late. After reading what you've written, trust me, I feel you.
Like what I've said, maybe we're all looking for excuses to make us feel better. Sometimes we don't actually know the reason behind every action of ours - we don't know why we did it, and what actually made us do it. Strange, isn't it?
And it really is not easy to get through it, but hopefully as time passes by, things will change. x
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