SFEASLVDRHNE | Sofea Rosalles

I wish I could stop thinking everyone was thinking low of me/looking down at me. I think that that feeling was what drove me for the last few months, but I'm tired of it. I don't want to be driven to be better than everyone at everything and then hate myself whenever I fail just because I think people think badly of me. I used to think low of myself, but I've mostly gotten over it. Confidence is still shaky and I really don't know how to shake it though. I've gotten better, but the thoughts always come back. And sometimes, the only solution is to shrink away from people for fear of being judged, evaluated, or whatnot.

I'm sick and tired of people putting me down 'cause I don't live up to their expectations. You know the ones who have an answer for everything or comeback for anything all the time. Seems like they have an endless number of witty remarks, comebacks and insults for anything. The ones who can debate anyone into the ground and still feel they're fucking right all the time.

Believe me, I really am so fucking sick and tired. But also, this isn't about me. We all have may have all of the same things bogging us down, wouldn't you agree? So, stop it. Just stop everything. Stop making me feel so tired of being timid, lacking confidence in myself and my potential. Tired of not believing in myself or my dreams enough to pursue them relentlessly. Tired of pleasing everyone around me at the expense of my own convictions and beliefs. Tired of people telling me how much greatness is inside of me and not being able to live up to it. Tired of looking forward to going to bed only to spend the night dreading getting up. Tired of being sick and tired.

I may not be at my best right now, but I will be in the future. Just watch me as I go.