Wasted, all over again.

I know that is a bold and dramatic month to start a conversation on my esteem and life but that is certainly the definition of it. My biggest issue is my grades. I am one of those students you see who hangs out with the smart kids, regardless I am excepted in every group including the stoners. Everyone has this image of me being smart, but I don't attend classes regularly though. I am in band and get along with everyone. Now it's my senior year and my grades aren't worth crap. I cry just because all of the people I call friends have the wrong impression about me. How can I, a student who would rather get the best education and learn in an environment of other strong learners, be condemed to a community college. Honestly, it's all my fault, but to leave high school? I can't even imagine. I'm so unhappy and devastated... Yes, high school isn't important, community colleges aren't bad, leaving home isn't terrible, but I've honestly tried my hardest. I am doomed for humiliation. I've been tempted to inflict pain on myself, and suicide has crossed my mind - the stupitity is amazing. What 'depression' can do to you, I honestly don't see a way out...

-

Anyway, here's what I've been up to lately. That's the best I can do to make it up to you guys.